Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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But by following their advice, Beattie learned that “feelings are not facts,” as the old AA saying goes. Beattie breaks down unnoticed learned behavior that's passed down through generations, behaviors that are often a result of living with an alcoholic parent or person with dysfunctional coping mechanisms. I never realized the extent to which my relationship warped me, to some level my fault for allowing it to happen, but the book also presented a lot of ways to come to an understanding of what it means to be a codependent and also ways to combat and correct behavior. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More helps you to break old patterns, maintain healthy boundaries, and say no to unhealthy relationships.

It is possible to communicate both of these at the same time - many people manage it easily and respectfully.The book is a little outdated, and though Melody strives to stay neutral when referring to gender roles, there's definitely a bias towards the male alcoholic and the stay at home wife codependent trying to fix him. Instead of scrolling through your social media news feed, this is a much better way to spend your spare time in my opinion.

It will benefit me to be mindful of what I learned from Melody and a handout she references in Codependent No More about moving on; “releasing, or detaching from, a person or problem in love. I found it incredibly frustrating to have to continue to listen to the bombardment of 12 Steps views. To thrive, a person needs to tackle the codependent spirit and accept full liability for every action. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.I didn't completely like the religious angles that much, though they will be good for some people, and at times it seemed as though there was an awfully large umbrella for which people could be defined as codependent. This book is pretty old for a self help book, but I still found so much of it to be relatable and worthwhile. Treatment also focuses on helping patients getting in touch with feelings that have been buried during childhood and on reconstructing family dynamics.

Frequently, when I suggest to people that they detach from a person or problem, they recoil in horror. They have bent over backwards avoiding hurting people's feelings and, in so doing, have hurt themselves.Kaip gelbėtojo, persekiotojo ir aukos vaidmenys susiję viens su kitu ir nuolat keičiasi, tu gelbsti kitą, tada pradedi jaustis auka, tada imi persekioti tą žmogų, tada jis tampa auka, tada tu jį gelbsti.